Suicide Mosquitoes

*Trigger Warning - Suicidal Content*   Today you would have been fifty-two Instead the doctor took away my blue Pills and made me start the yellow But I don’t feel like yellow I feel like blue Memories of you Pinching at my heart Suicide mosquitoes buzzing Round my head Today you would have been fifty-two …

The Importance of Being

My definition Is broken Gasping For air Time Is calling Traces Of lifetimes Erasing Being Shadow, Where are you? I need you Now Darkness is Here I can’t see Who I Will become When I am One   (Image from Pinterest)

Ending

Too much time has passed I held a place in my heart for you Picked away at the scab to keep it open Time and tears prove strong It’s beginning to scar over The ache transforming to anger Too much time has passed The connection that held us together is stretched thin Beginning to fray …

Mountains

No matter how hard I try, there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. My heart is forever broken because you left. Somedays it's all tears and sorrow. Others are full of anger and resentment. I simply cannot grasp how you could treat me this way, after all of …

Rambo

The sun strains in whispers Washed under roars of thunder Flaming sparks elucidate Hallucinate Motley limbs scratch their crooked nails Across the glass summon a monster’s ball Close the curtains lest they grab hold Placental encapsulated protection Birthed in resistance and objection Insensitive creatures Breed sensitive souls Cut them down to discourage growth Cord poison …

No

What is this game you are playing I told you the rules Blinded by your sociopath Maliciously misguided Again you sink your venom Into my porcelain heart I’m already emaciated and haunted By your toxic curse And failing dream catcher Deluge of nightmares and tears Shaking and sweating Straightjacket struggle To hold onto sanity Damn …

Lean Into It

Time Birth and death Obscure relevance And the space between Springing from earth surging strength Silver moments silently stolen by steaming sun Washed away in rushing rivers and rancid remains Sweetness sucked and sent back to sanctified Source Seeping memory reminders of revelry and rage Quivering thoughts of beginning and end Survive on sacrifice Wallow …

Before she Leaves

Mom. I'm here. What are you doing? Trying to get up. Why? Because I’m going home. Not today mom. You have to stay here. Tell me what you did today? We visited the neighbors. And that Spanish man. Did he tell you about dinner? He is having dinner with dad. We have to get home …

Slay

You think you got me this time, don’t you? Sadistic, sketchy, smooth son of a bitch. Pushing me from behind Bashing my face into boundaries I set in stone. Pile it on. Pound my head for the millionth time. You think that will stop me? Pain is my middle name. You forgot about the mountains …

Stay

I know I changed. That was the point. I lost myself. Stuck in a rip tide, drowning in the dark. Treading water, gasping for air, grasping for life. And you knew I had a choice. Grab hold of hope or let go of living. You didn’t want me dead. Neither did I. Here I am. …