Suicide Mosquitoes

*Trigger Warning – Suicidal Content*   Today you would have been fifty-two Instead the doctor took away my blue Pills and made me start the yellow But I don’t feel like yellow I feel like blue Memories of you Pinching at my heart Suicide mosquitoes buzzing Round my head Today you would have been fifty-two……

Arsonist

Birthed into flames Neonatal neurosis Suckled on psychosis Face streaked black Chocking on ash Back against the wall Tucked into crumbling Child’s memory Tell me lies of Wind in my hair Swinging From a tree Once anchored Now singed As my heart Rotten roots Fight for life Never ends Home sweet home Gorged with grief……

Away Then

Then Then, the day to day All I could do was go Away Fear clouded memory Duck and cover Mind fucked like A ravenous lover Leaving me helpless Weak On the floor A sobbing heap My truth Should be a lie Just let me be free The shape of fear The shape of me Hollowed……

The End of a Friendship

For a few of you that have talked with me and offered support and encouragement regarding the friend of mine who gave up on me, I ended it today. And thank you to so many of you that stepped up to offer kind words. I had been holding space in my heart for this person,……

Rainbow Cake

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger And lonely Open your heart and your friends disappear I wanted to make you a rainbow cake You pushed me in front of a bus On my road to recovery Addicted to the adrenaline rush That was illegal but it’s okay It’s the right thing to do Not……

Proceed with Caution

One of the great challenges for those who have survived abusive and neglectful parents is that there is often a part of us that is still waiting for them to love us, even if there is very little chance of that happening. Locked in an archaic mindset, we continue to go back for more, looking……

Extreme Measures

Can you see me Breaking chains Mend your own fence I’m busy building walls With secret doors and secret codes Fending off facetious followers Who plague my peaceable Queendom The time for niceties is done and over Worrying what I give you and you take from me Fearing rejection and reckless promises No more fabricated……