Sinner

 

I chopped off the head of a snake once.

I am responsible for the death of millions of wasps and spiders.

I tried to save the field mice, but there were just too many feasting off my food and fouling shelves with fecal matter.

I know, I know, it’s barbaric behavior, and I beg for redemption.

I haven’t been to church since I was a child. I never pray or read any bible.

I’ve mocked Gods and laughed as their power is proclaimed for saving lives yet they possess a contradictory need for innocent babies to join them in heaven. How does he/she make such a critical decision? What are the criteria?

I follow the rule of do unto others (except for snakes, wasps, spiders and mice). I hold the door for others. My life’s work has been completely dedicated to helping those in need. I even volunteer with rescued dogs.

I believe that if there were a God of some sort, he/she would understand my fear of snakes, wasps, spiders and mice and forgive my transgressions. And see all the good things I do and show me the stairway to heaven or bless me with some years of contentment and peace.

I’m lost in a state of confusion. I have the heart and soul of a lover, a giver, spilling over with sensitivity and kindness (except for snakes, mice, wasps and spiders).

None of it makes sense. The best I can gather is that reincarnation exists and in my previous lives I was a serial sinner.

I am being punished and I have accepted a life of enduring pain in my body and brain, my heart and soul.

My only question is, “How many more lives do I have to suffer through to be saved from my serial sinner past?”

(*Please remember that this is a piece of fiction. I hold deep respect for all religions.*)