“Be who you needed when you were younger”
These few words carry the weight of the world for those of us that were hurt as children. Some of us were left behind, forced to carry too much, or were physically and emotionally hurt. Broken from birth at the hand of those who were meant to be our source of love and safety.
They held the most precious key. And they lost it. That irreplaceable, sacred key, misplaced somewhere within their own damaged hearts, spilled down on them from generations past. That damage set a course for our innocent little souls and cemented our destination into the darkness that is our now.
We work daily to find the detour from that path. And in doing so, we must provide ourselves with the pieces from childhood that were taken from us. Speak to ourselves as we wish our parents had. Be patient and kind when the world feels too big and too frightening. Hold our trembling selves and gently whisper in our ears, “I’m here, I love you, you are safe.”
Though that sacred key may have been misplaced, it is not hidden. It exists within the little child that has never left you. Look closely, you will see it glisten when the angle of the sun hits you in just the right way, hold onto it with all your might. And never let go.
(Quote by Janis Ian)
I’m so glad you stumbled upon my blog, because it led me here. You possess such a genuinely heartfelt and thought-provoking style of writing, and I’m enjoying your posts immensely. 🙂
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Wow! Thank you so much, that’s a huge compliment and much appreciated. I’m glad you are enjoying it ❤
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Very nice and thought-provoking. Thank you for the follow.
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Thanks to you too 🙂
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This was amazing! So honest, true and relatable. It gave me comfort and also reminded me of all the things I’ve not been doing to myself, for myself. I think for most of us, showing kindness to ourselves can be the hardest challenge of all. Being to ourselves, who we needed. Someone that didn’t save us or show us love when we needed it the most. Brilliantly written!
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I’m so glad you found it helpful Mike! I had a feeling it might resonate with what you are describing in your last post. It was something a therapist said to me when I was in treatment years ago. We missed out on critical needs in childhood and she suggested to me that I speak to myself as I would speak to a little child. Some of the things I say to myself, I would never even consider saying to a child and I deserve to be treated with the same kindness. ❤
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Well, you were right — so thank you for suggesting it! I don’t think I could ever say those things to myself, but I guess it’s something I’ll have to learn to do. You’re right, though! 😃
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You’re welcome! It takes a lot of practice! I know I find myself sometimes just bashing myself or my world and have to really focus hard on changing that negative tape that keeps running in my head. Best wishes 🙂
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Thank you very much for this. I think I need to reflect on exactly what this means to me, because in a way it hit hard for reasons I don’t completely understand. Maybe because more recently in particular I am more the parent than the child than my own parents are in our relationship(s). Somehow I feel there is insight hidden in your words.
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I think it will mean something different to everyone. For me, it’s about healing myself and part of that is parenting myself in the way that my parents did not. I am also in a place where my parents are now elderly and needing care. I will help them with care-taking, but one of my boundaries with them is that I will not be responsible for their emotional well-being. As they have aged, they have become aware of the damage they caused when I was a child and are now feeling guilt. That is theirs to carry, not mine. I hope the post is helpful to you in some way and I’m happy to talk with you about some more if you are feeling stuck with it. Best wishes ❤
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This is beautiful and touched my heart deeply, as I had a very unpleasant childhood to put it mildly. But now I’m a mother and didn’t think I was going to be. My daughter is 21 months and the love of my life. I try to give her what I didn’t have and it reminds me to give that same love to that inner wounded child inside me.
Loved this, great post it made me teary. 🙂
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Thank you, I’m glad that it touched you deeply. Sometimes the most important lessons we learn from our parents are what not to do – and to end that cycle of abuse or neglect. And yes, to be able to give your child the best world possible, you must give to yourself the same love and security that you did not receive as a child. Your daughter is lucky to have you as her momma ❤
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Thank you 🙂
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This is one of my favourite posts. ❤
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Thank you 🙂
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Attachment – or lack there of – is so important. Living without it as a child, as we are well aware, stays with us and is such a hurdle. We are literally, attached to non-attachment.
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“We are literally, attached to non-attachment.” That’s powerful.
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Thank you!
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Beautifully said
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Thank you ❤
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https://abrokenbluesky.wordpress.com/
Gaaa! I inadvertently deleted your comment. I’ve done that twice now. So sorry. Thank you though ❤
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❤️
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Reblogged this on Kate McClelland.
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Thank you Kate ❤
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You’re welcome
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Wow — this really does resonate with me, I must say.
Very moving, particularly the end. And insightful.
I’m going to revisit this one, more than once. Thank you. 🙂
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Thank you! It hits me hard too. I was trembling as I wrote it (and still am). Triggering myself is probably not a good idea … Going to go walk the dogs and give myself some love ❤
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I’m awfully sorry… I can only hope that it did some cathartic good in the long run.
Take it easy…
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Yes, it does do some good. They are issues that I have worked really hard on for a long time. Just hadn’t thought about it, for whatever reason, until I saw that quote. I’m good, just back from walking the dogs and took time to splash in the creek – a great childhood memory ❤
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Ah, such things like that can be really good: I find that getting back to nature (long walks) clears and calms my brain: I used to go on long walks a lot when a kid and have only just got back into it.
It’s certainly interesting how a mere few words can stir up something in our psyches, too.
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Yes, we are fortunate to live in the country and I just love nature and animals. It always makes me feel better. And yes to the few little words too… you never know what is going to hit you (I guess that’s partly why I have anxiety, lol).
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Haha yes… it’s a little minefield sometimes, sadly! But part of our personal evolution, I think, is navigating that minefield better than we have.
Haha, my analogy ends there, because it’s late. 😉
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🙂
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