Fire and Ice

I am finally at a place in my life when I feel like I got it. Go ahead, throw it at me. My shields are strong. The flames from the past are distinguished; the scars help me remember that I am a fighter. I have battled and I have won. I know contentment, confidence, and strength… because it’s done, it’s resolved in my heart and soul. I know how to treat the scars when they begin to ache, I got it. I walk tall, strong, ready, duck here, swerve there, flames licking at my boots, I kick them away, stomp the embers into wisps of smoke, use them to warm me from the cold. Not this time, no, not this time.

Then, with no warning, no hint to help me steady myself… one word, one statement, one person, one event, one thought and the avalanche begins, the glowing embers brighten, the fury grins. A slow rumble, barely felt, barely heard. Once it shifts, it’s too fast, so fast I have no time to maneuver. I’m buried, again. I’m burning, again. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t have time to take one last big breath, the flames flared, the cold surged. I’m engulfed, so hot. I’m smothered, so cold. My entire heart and soul. So deep the pain, I drop to the ground, the strength to hold myself up has cheated me. Flames in an avalanche. Buried and burning, cold and on fire. No air, just ice and flames, suffocating in pain.

Burn again, suffocate again, it’s easy, just sit, they are always ready to take me. I don’t have to try to breath, the air burns, the ice is heavy, and my scars are deep.

I thought I had fought enough already.

In ice and flames ~ bury me ~

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